U ever see a pic on fb that ruins your whole day
How do people do backflips and shit? like i can’t even flip my grilled cheese without fucking up
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
we’re literally random people around the world sitting on the internet telling bad jokes to each other why the fuck is this the most important thing i’ve got going on
"i just broke up with my -"