(Source: c0caino)

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

when you make a joke and someone tells you “that’s not very nice”

image

(Source: b-e-w)

rninor:

weepingdildo:

landorus:

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

"I’ll make you moan, over"

"bend over"
"bend what? over"

fredschilton:

if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case

(Source: mindykaeling)

pixyled:

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME

askboggle:

egberts:

do you ever walk to the beat of your music in public and you think you look really cool but you probably just look like a dumbass

image

(Source: 180mph)

(Source: sluggoth)

frejskamavor:

on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

(Source: sanastark)

(Source: awwww-cute)

the-winchester-initiative:

posthumous-mcdouble:

Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives

image

(Source: collectiveassbutts)